It can be hard resisting the self-doubt posts; they call out to you as you scroll down your social media. Those relatable pictures and keywords have their effects. It doesn’t matter your age or gender, there’s so many, eventually one will trigger your impulse to click.
“Ten Ways To Escape The Narcissist In Your Life,” OR “Twenty Things You’re Doing Right Now That Your Partner Hates!” Who writes this stuff, and why are we reading it?
Most people call them “Self-help Shares,” but in truth, they are self-doubting, and not just of ourselves, but of others. I mean, do we seriously read these posts, and wonder if Sally from the office is spinning a web of narcissism? Do we actually percolate over changing, so that our partner won’t leave us? Sure, it’s good to know the people you’re dealing with, and compromise is healthy, but before you begin your personality makeover, take a good look at where you’re getting the information. Maybe you don't need a plan of action.
I’m all for self-help. Enlightening one’s spirit or getting physically healthy is actually pretty freaking awesome. But thinking you can know someone by reading a silly social media share is sad. If you believe you can tell your partner is cheating on you, because someone wrote a list of five things to watch for, then you’re probably already doomed in your relationship.
Everyone is different. Verbal reactions, facial expressions and body language are unique to each person, like DNA. Can you really judge another human based on what a blog post describes as abnormal? Why are we trying to fit everyone into box? And yes, I know there are real studies about some of these things, but still, it's all relative. Not to mention the average person trying to interpret one of these studies. Yikes!
My two cents, look people in the eye and go with your instincts. If the people who care about you are warning you about some psychopath lover, maybe you should take a closer look, but stay away from the self-doubt shares. I've read a few that might send you running into the arms of one!
Having said all that, here is my silly list of Six things:
1. Get to know Sally at the office, she’s probably a cool gal with tons of confidence. Maybe some will rub off on you.
2. Have a conversation with your partner about something other than your feelings.
3. Volunteer at a nursing home. It’s a good reminder that none of us have that much time, and maybe we should be worried about the things we want instead of what everyone else thinks.
4. Take a good long look in the mirror. The answers are right there.
5. Read the Art of War. It will change the way you think, and it is REAL self-help.
6. If none of the above interest you, try DIY eye rinse, with bleach. Repeat, if necessary.
photo by Doug Coulter